Quote of the Day (Oh, Manny)

Today's quote in not by a Red Sox player, nor is about about a Sox player... at least a current one.  Everyone knows about Manny by now, so I'll spare you all of that.  Suffice to say, this quote is by Ken Rosenthal, and is about Manny being Manny.

"As if there was any doubt, he is now the village idiot of baseball."

We all know Manny is somewhat of a savant: a genius at hitting, but somewhat clueless (I suspect intentionally) about most everything else.  I for one don't think this is good news, and I don't understand the Red Sox fans who are rejoicing.  Maybe I'm weird; I didn't exactly dance in the streets when A-Rod was outed either, even though Rodriguez was already so easy to hate.  I'm sick of hearing about how my childhood heroes are cheaters.  It's like finding out that the toothfairy doesn't floss or that Santa Claus is an anti-Semite.  No one likes hearing those things... they just hurt.  

For every new name in the headlines, the game takes a little more damage, something MLB doesn't really need in this economic climate, and, quite frankly, a phenomenon that I could do without.  Baseball has been a really good coping mechanism for me: if I'm having a bad day, I like to watch/listen to/write about/obsess over the Red Sox.  Any of my friends will tell you that I have an unhealthy obsession with this team, and with the sport in general, but in reality, baseball has helped me keep my sanity.  The last few years of my life have been filled with bad news, disappointments, and general misfortune.  Don't get me wrong, good things have happened too, and I appreciate every one of them, but the Red Sox have gotten me through a lot of bad times.  You can understand then why this blow to the game saddens me.  

I won't pretend that I never liked Manny, because he endeared himself to all of us before it turned bad.  However, he was not my favorite.  My favorite players have been those who aren't the prototypical slugger (currently Pedroia, obviously).  That's not to say I don't like the other players, because I do.  I feel reasonably secure that my current favorite won't break my heart (unless male-patterned baldness is a sign of PED use...?), but this news cuts pretty deep, for the simple reason that Manny was a stalwart in the Sox lineup all those summers.  Manny was a large part of my baseball obsession, because he was a large part of the Red Sox.  So I for one hope he's telling the truth, because I would much rather keep my current opinion of Manny being Idiotic than have to switch that to Manny being a Cheater.

Stop talking to A-Rod, it can only end badly... STOP IT!

Quote of the Day

First, the explanation: Jason Bay is a ninja/superhero.

Impossible! You say Jason Bay is Canadian, one of our gentle neighbors to the north.  But what better secret identity than the son of a smelter worker in Trail, British Columbia?  If you've seen the new X-Men: Origins film, then you know there's no better alter ego than a Canadian... Sure, Wolverine went for the whole "lumberjack" thing, but Jason Bay doesn't like flannel.

Hugh Jackman likes flannel... and being a lumberjack.

Jason Bay knows it's easier to keep his cover at home in Canada, and it was MUCH easier in Pittsburgh (none of my friends from Pittsburgh understand why baseball is fun... I pity them).  In Boston, Bay has to take sneaky to a whole new level.  For instance, he asked Tito to bat him low in the order so people wouldn't see his conspicuous super strength in the cleanup spot; unfortunately, Youk couldn't go last night, so Super-Bay stepped in.  BAM! Three run homer.  

Even though Boston Red Sox fans would accept Bay's super powers, he still has to hide them, garnering this quote, concerning stealing bases:

"I didn't run one time in Spring Training.  I didn't want to blow my cover."

Jason Bay is a phenomenal base stealer, at least percentage wise.  I for one am convinced that the only reason he doesn't leave Jacoby in the dust every year is respect for the young man's ego coupled with the realization that being a super hero just leads to brawls with jealous Yankees fans.  Jason Bay doesn't want to hurt anyone... Except maybe Joba Chamberlain, and that is one fight I would LOVE to see.

Jason Bay will see your HBP and raise you a three-run homer... Oh, and invisibility, he can do that, too.

(Just want to clarify that all quotes on this blog are collected from other sites, because I don't have the necessary credentials to get into the Sox locker room... and even if I did, it's finals week.  I'm clearly very busy studying.  This quote was found on WEEI.com)

Inter-rivalry bromance (TTT)

Introducing a new type of post: Top Ten Tweets of the game.  For any of you who aren't familiar with Twitter, Google it (then join: it's fun!)

10.) "I know I want tickets to the Pedroia gun show!!!" Melky Cabrera tried to stretch a double into a triple in the bottom of the fourth inning, but Drew corralled it and gave Pedroia a great throw to relay in to Mikey Lowell for the out.  Pedroia has an absolute cannon, which we don't really get to see because he's the second baseman.  Also, props to Drew for getting to the ball so quickly and being so spot on with his throw.  (Below: The Dustin Pedroia gun show.)

9.) "Big Papi loves him some Yankee Stadium."  David Ortiz has traditionally mashed at Yankee Stadium, so what better place to get him back on track?  Tonight Ortiz went 1-for-3 with two walks, bringing his average to .225... If the first step is hitting your weight, Papi needs another game or so (he's listed at 230)... but he's successfully hitting everyone else's weight except for Hunter Jones (235), Brad Penny (230... yeah, right), and Jason Varitek (230). (Below: the Curse of Big Papi.)

8.) "Captain Jeter's range is soooo bad... I love it."  Don't get me wrong, I have more respect for Jeter than for any other Yankee (except possibly Rivera), but he is not a productive shortstop anymore.  For all of his crazy pirouettes, Jeter can't reach a dribbler that I would even expect Julio Lugo to make a play on.  I wouldn't want to be the one to tell him he has to switch positions... (Below: Jeter throws to first... unfortunately, the runner is already at second.)

7.) "Oh, but it's so nice to watch Teixeira struggle." The Yankees first baseman went 1-for-4 with two K's (both courtesy of Beckett).  There's one guy who can't wait for A*Rod to come back... if only because it will take some of the scrutiny off of him.  Oh, and speaking of hitting your weight? Teixeira isn't even close (.198 average, listed at 220). (Below: Epic, expensive, FAIL.)

6.) "Joba's obviously upset that Youk's not in the lineup tonight.... I wonder who he'll throw at instead...?"  Though Joba had exceptional control tonight - the NESN commentators were waxing poetic about him - he still managed to do this...

5.) "Guess Joba just likes to hit the cleanup batter... Youk? Bay? Doesn't matter to him."  Hall of Fame Pitcher Dennis Eckersley was in the booth tonight, and was immediately up in arms about Joba's bean ball pitch.  He called it "obviously intentional," as well as "inexcusable," especially since Joba had been putting the ball exactly where he wanted it all night.  I just think Joba's pissed that his mom got caught dealing meth. (Below: Joba's mom.)

4.) "Wow. Do you think NESN's cameras could zero in on someone else when Pedroia is packing a HUGE lip?" I mean, I know he's one of the most recognizable people on the team, but seriously... He's not someone you zoom in on in the dugout.  If he's not dropping vehement f-bombs, he's packing a bomb.  Obviously, the whole spitting tobacco juice thing is super attractive AND healthy, so I understand why NESN would want to showcase it to America's youth. (Below: Pedroia, packing a lip as usual.)

3.) "I'll take hit batsman to load the bases, for $600, Alex." The Yankees intentionally walked JD Drew in the eighth, which is probably a good call, since he has no feelings and is a great hitter when the pressure is on.  Add that to the fact that Jeff bailey was scheduled up, and I would make the same decision.  However, the Yankees bullpen is just a big bowl of suck this season, and Bailey got hit with a pitch to load the bases.  The Sox would score two runs in that inning. (Below: Alex Trebek loves the Red Sox. No really, he does.)

2.) "Nick Green, will you marry me?"  Now, I know what you're thinking, and it's not just the potential for free baseball tickets that led me to make this proposal.  The Sox have won 15 straight when Green starts, and lost all four when Lugo has.  Green has a .283 average, while Lugo is hitting a dismal .214 (at least he's beating Teixeira!).  All other things being equal (they're both rather error prone), I'll take Green... At least until Lowrie is ready. (Below: Green practicing his Jeterian pirouettes.. coming soon, the patented fist pump.)

1.) "LOVE PEDROIA... Pedey throws out Jeter (his BFFL) for the last out, completing the sweep."  There are so many good things here: Jeter's out, we win, SWEEP.  But after the WBC, we know that Pedroia and Jeter have a bit of a bromance going on, so we should be thankful that they can bear to play each other.  Hey, it could be worse, Pedey could be bosom buddies with A*Rod.... except he thinks A*Rod is "a dork."  (Below: inter-rivalry bromance.)

Best Friends For LIFE!!!  As long as we're winning, I'm okay with this.

Quote(s) of the Day

Both of these gems are from the same man. The first is referring to the size of the visitors' clubhouse at the new Yankee Stadium, but could also easily be describing the speaker's tribulations at the plate thus far:

"I got lost."

Notice that was in the past tense, because, due to a two-double, two walk performance last night, David Ortiz looks to be moving past his slump.  Only time will tell, but in the meantime, we can take comfort in the fact that Manager Terry Francona is all but too loyal to his veteran players.  Said Oritz of his skipper's handling of the situation: 

"I don't see Terry as my coach anymore.  I see him as my dad.  He's been so great to me that every time he talks, I'm nothing but ears."

That might be the cutest quote I have ever heard from a Sox player.  Also, I can't help picturing Tito teaching Ortiz to ride a bike, or giving him advice on girls, or any number of fatherly endeavors (hilarious mental pictures).  Well, if Oritz is going to hit like he did last night, he can call Brad Mills his uncle, John Farrell his cousin, and Kevin Youkilis his sister for all I care.

"Yeah, I like to think of Pedey as the family pet... like a dog or something..."

Panic!

There is entirely too much going on in my life this week.  It's finals week here at Trinity College (the home of basic cable and no NESNplus), and I have four of them (English tomorrow at noon, Constitutional Law Thursday at nine, American Political Thought Thursday at noon, and Urban Politics Friday at 3).  Yes, I have the very last final, all but ensuring that, by the time it's over, I won't be able to leave Hartford in time to catch the Sox play Tampa Bay once I get home (maybe that's a good thing, judging by this past series....).

Am I truly expected to be able to focus on studying when the Sox just lost three of four down at the Trop, and are now heading to New York to play a pair in that brand new launching pad in the Bronx?  I mean, in the grand scheme of things, what's more important: Charles Dickens' Bleak House or the fact that David Ortiz went approximately 0-for-5,084 this weekend?  The evolution of the Supreme Court's interpretation of privacy or our starting rotation possessing a 5.50 ERA?  I mean, I can see where the whole "right to privacy" debate might affect me, but the only Bleak House I'm worried about is Fenway Park if Ortiz doesn't stop impersonating Mo Vaughn - and fast.

Alright, the Yankees series will be over after my English final, but then there's Cleveland, and then Tampa Bay (luckily at friendly Fenway), and If you think I'll be able to focus while watching Justin Masterson try to get back on track (Wednesday night), or hoping Tim Wakefield continues his torrid pace (Thursday night), then you haven't been paying attention.  This could be a problem.  However, if the Sox can win 3-4 games out of their next five, and I escape the semester with a 3.4ish GPA, I'll consider this week a success... If I can even get through it.

My friend Becca and me at the new Yankee Stadium during their exhibition against the Cubs on April 4... Yes, she's the Yankee fan.

Calendar Boys: Where is Papelbon's Mojo?

Since Trinity College doesn't get anything more than basic cable, I couldn't watch the game last night on NESNplus, so I won't be writing about it (by all accounts it was a disappointment, so hopefully no one will be too upset).

However, as yesterday was May 1st, I had to switch my calendar page, and, being the obsessive compulsive fan that I am proud to be, it's a Red Sox calendar (obviously).  This month the picture is of the inimitable Jonathan Papelbon.  I'll admit to being a little disappointed last month when I turned to April (my favorite month, after October) and saw that the photo was of Jacoby Ellsbury.  Now, I've made my feelings about Ellsbury pretty clear, and the way he started off April didn't exactly inspire me to have confidence in him... if fact, I'm quite sure I dedicated at least one Off the Monster rant to his seeming inability be be a productive leadoff hitter.

Fortunately, by the end of the Month of Ellsbury, Golden Boy was was batting .273, which, on the surface, isn't really that impressive, but in the last two weeks he has been hitting at a .321 clip.  Perhaps that steal of home inspired him to not swing at the fist pitch get on base more often.  I'm convinced that once he learns to do that, he'll be a respectable leadoff man (meaning on base) and be able to utilize his game changing speed.

Now, on to my actual point.  Papelbon (Mr. May, on my calendar), has been somewhat less than impressive this year.  Though the closer boasts six saves and a 1.74 ERA, he has also allowed six walks.  Paps only allowed eight walks over the entire 2008 season.  He's also hit a batter.  Just one, you might ask? No big deal, except for the fact that he hasn't hit anyone with a pitch since 2007.  Papelbon has had an effective career thus far not because he can throw 95-98 MPH, because lots of pitchers can do that.  The Sox closer is effective because he throws at such velocities with pinpoint control, and has a splitter he can throw to keep batters off balance.  

There have been some worrisome signs from Mr. Papelbon during the month of April.  The control is not where we have come to expect it to be, and though he is first in the league is saves right now, it's only a matter of time before those walk totals come back to bite him.  There's been some talk that John Farrell is working with Paps on some minor mechanical adjustment: hopefully that will help him get his pitches where they need to be.  I would like it very much if Papelbon continued the trend of the player on my calendar improving during his month.  (Julio Lugo is in November... when this year's World Series is... gulp.)

Unfortunately, Josh Beckett's scheduled Month of Improvement isn't until August. David Ortiz? December. Oh, dear...

There can be only ONE...

So, I was on Twitter last night while I watched the game, and I had an epiphany.  Cyn at Toeing the Rubber asked "Who broke Josh Beckett?"  And it came to me.  Now, I have to give credit to Texy over at Center Field for this post, without which I never would have figured out Josh's problems.

Obviously, as I said on Twitter, "The pitching gods are mad that he tried to clone himself in Lester... There can only be ONE Josh Beckett." Now, without that insightful post from Center Field, I might not have noticed the alarming rate at which Lester is transforming from Beckett's protege to some sort of creepy clone of the man with the soul patch, but it all fits together now.  Obviously, some higher power of baseball is upset... I can only imagine that if Lester were right-handed like Beckett is, the top 40% of our rotation would have already been struck by lightning.  Or maybe a plague of locusts.

I mean, think about it: the two were already similar, just by virtue of both being tall, fireballing badasses who were drafted straight out of high school.  Now, Beckett seems to have made it his mission to make Lester his carbon copy (this would be more awesome if either of them were pitching better).  I say enough is enough.  Obviously, someone is upset at this travesty.  Only Josh Beckett is allowed to talk of "executing pitches" like it's the be-all, end-all.  Only Josh Beckett is allowed to go on crazy hunting trips with Mike Timlin (in all fairness, I don't know if this has technically ever occurred).  And only Josh Beckett can pull of the awkward soul-patch, under the chin goatee thing (seriously Lester, this is a bad look).

I also decided that Beckett is allergic to Tropicana Field... I mean, I know it makes me want to vomit.  So all we have to do to get the vintage Beckett back (beyond getting the heck out of Tampa) is get someone to slap some sense into Lester and give him the advice that every fifth grader needs: "Just be yourself.  I promise we'll still love you."  Once we have two distinct pitchers at the top of the rotation, I'm confident the pitching gods will lift the plague they've put on the Boston starters (all those under the age of forty, that is).  I'm not religious, but if the pitching gods want a sacrifice, I'm offering Matt Garza: we'll ask Coco Crisp to fight him in a steel cage match... everyone knows that Coco owns Tampa Bay pitching, at least in fist fights.

Can someone explain how Lester is listed as three inches shorter than Beckett?