Fans who use "we:" normal or annoying?

I've blogged about my History of US Sports class in this space before, but we had a particularly spirited debate this evening - and it wasn't about a team, or a player, or even a sport. It was about the fans. Specifically, how attachment to a particular team is displayed.  There were students who were personally offended when fans used "we" in most contexts, students (including myself) who use "we," and some who didn't care.

Personally, I only get annoyed when people will say "We won," when their team wins, but "They lost," when their team loses. Don't lump yourself in only when the team is successful, then seek to distance yourself during the bad times.

In class, there were more people who used "we," or who didn't mind when others did, than those who disliked it. However, when I asked if people minded the use of "we" on social networking sites, opinions seemed to be more split. On Twitter I got two responses, one on each side of the issue.

 On Tumblr, I got five responders who bristled at the use of "we," and four who either didn't care or embraced it.  On Facebook I got four answers: three didn't care, and one was particularly vocal and articulate about her support for "we:"

"I've got my time, money, and emotions invested into these teams, go through the ups and downs with them.... sometimes fans can be the difference maker in a game... Teams can't thrive as professional teams without us... I def feel justified using "we""

The crux of the issue (on both sides) seems to come down to ownership and attachment to the team in question.  Those who thing "we" is inappropriate seem to be concerned that fans who use the term feel too close, and that they should step back some.


For me personally, sports are EXTREMELY personal. I have a visceral, emotional response to the team. I feel elated when they win, and depressed when they lose - the Boston athlete's accusation that the fans take things too seriously sometimes describes me to a "T."  I feel like my Facebook friend quoted above: I spend a huge amount of time, money, and energy on the Red Sox, and I use "we." [I do NOT feel invested enough in the Pats, Celts, or Bruins to use "we."]


What do you all think? Am I crazy and/or annoying to refer to the Sox as "we?" Do you ever do this?

The World According to Paps

Jonathan Papelbon has never been the most tactful or thoughtful of baseball players:

He is, after all, the man who once asked Boston Globe Red Sox beat writer Amalie Benjamin "to put the fact that he's a sheriff in Mississippi into a story." Papelbon has always been a character, the "Manny being Manny" after Manny jumped ship. He is also an extremely talented pitcher, which is why we all just nodded and smiled rather than shipping him off to Beth Israel for a head exam.

But now that Pap is in Philly, he has some things to say about Boston fans: "The difference between Boston and Philadelphia, the Boston fans are a little bit more hysterical when it comes to the game of baseball... The Philly fans tend to know the game a little better, being in the National League, you know, the way the game is played. I've had a guy take off his prosthetic leg and throw it in the bullpen in Boston."

First of all, that story is HILARIOUS. Secondly, and more importantly, the person that asked him to compare fanbases is an idiot looking to stir things up. Papelbon has been a member of the Phillies for a few months, and has yet to play in a non-Spring Training game. He has no basis for comparison, and the person who asked him about it knows that. That being said, I'm not particularly offended that a man who plays a broom like a guitar thinks I'm "hysterical."

But if you ARE concerned that your baseball street cred is being called into question, never fear, because the always vocal Curt Schilling has your back!

 

"Smartest sports fans on the planet," indeed. It's worth noting that Schill spent time in both cities - but he lives in Massachusetts now, so he has no interest in spurning his neighbors.

I don't blame Papelbon for making Red Sox fans out to be hysterical... I've taken my share of shots at the enigmatic closer, so if he wants to ingratiate himself to a new fanbase by alienating his old one, that's his call. He won't be returning to Fenway Park this season (our one series with the Phils is in Philadelphia), so he'll be safe from the "hysteria."

Pedroia pondering a Twitter debut

Pedroia's Twitter would be as awesome as this photo. 

This could be the greatest thing to hit Red Sox Nation in months.

Pedroia has indicated that he's tired of the Laser Show and Muddy Chicken nicknames, so while most suggestions were along those lines, I think Pedey will shy away from them.  Destroyah15, perhaps? Or TitoIsMyBitch?

Whatever the name ends up being, I think we can rely on Pedroia's Twitter presence to be just as entertaining at his interviews  -and perhaps even more so. After all, he'll have a direct line to the fans, which could potentially remove any filter he has with the press.

I've always assumed that the Pedey quotes that trickle down to the fans are the tamest of them all, and I would love to see Pedroia's wit uncensored. Of course, the Red Sox would frown upon anything TOO extreme, but I think we depend on some quality laughs if Pedroia ends up live online.

This could be the greatest news of my life. Hopefully Darnell McDonald proves very persuasive.

The end of an era: Jason Varitek retires

I thought I could hold it together, I really did. And then, about a dozen words into his speech, Jason Varitek began to cry - and all of Red Sox Nation (including yours truly) followed suit.  Tek has been playing for the Boston Red Sox since I was seven years old - I literally cannot recall what any of the catchers who came before him look like.

Jason Varitek is the only Red Sox player I've ever met in real life, and some of you might remember this post, where I posted my favorite pictures of Jason Varitek's Celebrity Putt Putt and gushed about how my life was made complete when I handed the Captain his runaway golf ball.

Over the lifespan of this blog (about three years), I have posted about Varitek forty times (not including this one) - accounting for almost ten percent of all my posts. Though not my current favorite player (if you don't know who that distinction belongs to, you must be new here), Jason Varitek means a lot to me.

Tek is a Red Sox stalwart, a Dirt Dog, a leader. His teammates respect him, and the fans love him. He reduced Red Sox Nation to tears several times over this evening at his retirement press conference with sentiments like thanking Terry Francona for "letting me sail with you and captain your ship," and "The hardest thing to do is walk away from your teammates, and what they meant to you.''

Varitek has received tons of praise from teammates past and present (and some non-Sox) for his loyalty and work ethic (quotes gathered by @Jared_Carrabis):

• "He showed me how to be a player with honesty, hard work and integrity without ever having to say one word." - Jonathan Papelbon
• "He taught me how to be a leader & showed me how to be a champion... It was a honor and a pleasure to have been his teammate." - Johnny Damon
• "In my 23 years of professional baseball I never played with or against a more selfless and prepared player than Jason Varitek." - Curt Schilling
•  "I’ve always admired the way Jason played the game, and I appreciated the opportunity I had to get to know him throughout the years." - Derek Jeter
• "His first care was that his teammates succeeded even before himself. I have never seen a player so prepared for every game." - Mike Timlin
• "Although his leadership will be missed, his legacy in Red Sox history will be forged forever." - Tim Wakefield
• "Tek was hands down one of the best teammates I ever had... he was a true captain in every sense of the word." - Mike Lowell

Jason Varitek was always the consummate professional, even if he's declined offensively in the last few years. He always came prepared, even catching four no-hitters from four different pitchers (and might have had a fifth if Schilling hadn't shaken him off).  And, even though he refuses to autograph the picture, Jason Varitek did this:

 And if nothing else, we'll always love him for that.

Being a Red Sox fan is WORTH the heartache

We didn't deserve to make it.  As angry, depressed, disappointed, and bitter as I am right now (and it's toned down a lot since last night), I can see that.  The Red Sox mailed it in this September, and last night's debacle was nothing more than a microcosm of the last month.

They say you don't win pennants in April.  That might be true, but if nothing else, this season has taught us that you sure as hell can LOSE them in April.  If we didn't get swept by Cleveland (Cleveland!) the second series of 2011, we squeak into the playoffs last night - whether we could have done a damn thing one we were in? That's another story.

However, some of the reactionary stuff I was seeing on Twitter and Facebook last night was appalling, and - in many cases - downright foolish:

Let's start off with a tweet where the poster misspelled the closer's name, exposed his own misogyny, and blamed a player with a serious injury. I'm sorry, bro, but I know you personally, and there is no goddamned way you were playing through injuries like Salty's and Youk's. Despite the fact that Lackey has thus far been a HUGE disappointment for the money, he DID manage to win 12 games, and the suggestion to sign Prince Fielder is hardly going to help out our pitching.

Let's move on:

Gold. "Sell the team." To whom, I wonder? Are you going to buy it?  And it's not really like the owners can carry much of the blame here. Sure, if they had denied the money to sign a really important and obvious missing piece, but we all know that John Henry and Co. essentially have an open-wallet policy with Theo.  Perhaps that's where the blame should go?  But, don't forget we were all lauding Theo just eight months ago, and Sports Illustrated literally JUST ran a story extolling the virtues of his managerial technique (you might have to subscribe to SI to see it - sorry).

So this brings me to the most popular sentiment of the night:

You have got to be joking. Luckily, there sees to be just as many people on the interwebz who are violently disagreeing, and defending Tito.  I'm sure this conversation is of no surprise to Francona, after all, the double-edged sword of being a manager is that if the team wins, they were really talented, but if they lose, it's the manager's fault.  Could Tito have done more to light a fire underneath his team? Maybe. We will never know what he was doing in the clubhouse.  It is worth remembering that every single Red Sox is a grown-ass man, and therefore responsible for his own performance - Tito can only enhance.

And, to wrap up the evening, here's a status update that literally made me feel sick to my stomach:

Yes, that happened on my newsfeed last night. And FIVE PEOPLE "Liked" it.  Listen, I get the frustration, the thoughts that the team just doesn't work, that maybe starting over would be better - that it couldn't be worse. But these men are people. Just like you and me. They have families and lives outside of baseball. I don't care how much of a superfan you are, wishing for a plane crash just makes you a spectacularly shitty human being.

If anything, I hope this ending, this season, leaves us wiser as fans.  You don't win seasons in the offseason.  The playoffs are a special event, not a perennial birthright.  Sometimes you're on the losing end of epic chokefests.  All of these things kind of suck, and for fans like me, who didn't live through much of the storied franchise heartache (1999 and 2003, but before that was before my time), this is a stark reminder that we as Red Sox fans have lived a charmed existence.

But for me, it's worth it. I have seen two World Series Championships come to my team in my lifetime, and I believe I'll live to see many more.  Last night was crushing, painful, tear-inducing, because baseball and the Red Sox are my life.  But the feeling I got when I saw them win it in Colorado in 2007 and St. Louis in 2004 outweighs that heartache by an indescribable amount.  Being a dedicated (some might say obsessive) fan can fucking HURT sometimes - but when it feels good, it feels SO GOOD, SO GOOD, SO GOOD!

"Where has all the bitterness gone?"

I'm watching Baseball Tonight on ESPN, and one of their commentators wondered what had happened to the days when every Red Sox-Yankees series was fraught with animosity, and not just in the stands.  What happened to the brawls between Fiske and Munson, or Tek and A*Rod, or even Pedro and Don Zimmer?

Parity happened.  In the last 11 years, the Red Sox and Yankees both have two Championships each, and they've been relatively evenly matched.  Right now, for instance, the two teams have identical records in the AL East, and they're tied for first.  Only one of these teams will leave Fenway tonight with first place, and the best record in the American League.

Just seven years ago, a series like this would be overshadowed by the constant threat of beanings, brawls, and general enmity.  Now? Well, I'm sure you've seen Nick Swisher showering praise on Josh Beckett, and David Ortiz unabashedly bestowing hugs upon pinstriped rivals during batting practice.

Even among fans, some of the hatred has abated.  There are certainly Yankees fans that I avoid like the plague, but for the most part, I can respect their devotion and knowledge, just like I would with any other sports fan (however, anyone who chants "1918!" or utters the number "27" isn't worth the time. Let's talk about contemporary history. Kthanks).

So is this better?  It's less nerve-wracking, to be sure, but the lack of open hostility makes things just a little bit less exciting.  While it's good to be able to be confident that Jeter won't throw a sucker punch  a Gonzo when the latter rounds the bases, the games are certainly less of an event than they once were.

That said, I would NEVER want to go back to the way things were, because the animosity was so intense because the Red Sox (and we as fans) had a monkey on their backs, and we were reminded of it every time the two teams met.  Back then, we were still eighty-six-year losers, perpetually looking up at New York in the standings.

Now things are much more even, and if the price of that is that the edge comes off of the bitterness and rivalry a bit, I'll certainly take the tradeoff.  I'm calling for a Sox win tonight, on the back of one Joshua Patrick Beckett - he's given us no reason to doubt him, and I don't plan to start now.

Of Hit-streaks and Nostalgia

Yesterday afternoon, in the eighth inning, Dustin Pedroia came to the plate hitless after his previous three at-bats (he did, however, have a walk).  The crowd, aware of his 24-game active hit streak, got to its feet and cheered, and were then rewarded when Pedey took a neck-high 3-2 offering from Greg Holland and deposited it in the Monster Seats, successfully extending his streak to 25 games.

The longest such streak in the majors this year belongs to Pedroia's close friend, Andre Ethier, with 30 games.  One can only imagine the ribbing Ethier will get if Pedey manages to notch hits in the next 6 games.

The most special part of the situation, in my opinion at least, was the fan reaction, and Terry Francona agreed: "I do think our fans are pretty special. They do react to things like that. It's part of what makes Fenway so great," he said. "We don't need to have President races or mustard racing ketchup. Our fans like our baseball. I actually really think that's cool. Nothing against mustard."

 This is part of why I find Fenway Park so special - we don't need the gimmicks that other teams depend on to draw and keep fans.  The new Yankee Stadium, for instance, felt to me like I was in a shopping mall and a baseball game broke out - it was plastered with technicolor ads and gimmicks, there were games and giveaways every half-inning on the scoreboard, almost like a minor-league stadium.

While Fenway does have a big new high-def scoreboard, it also hangs onto nostalgia with it's manual scoreboard under the very same Monster Pedroia homered into yesterday, as well as the same wooden grandstand seats in which your father and grandfather might have sat.  And the fans are just as knowledgeable and vociferous as they were when Teddy Ballgame was swatting homers from that very same batters box.

Red Sox Fan in a Foreign Land [Part 2]

Back in 2008, an bitter Hank Steinbrenner took a shot at Red Sox Nation: "What a bunch of bullshit that is.  Go anywhere... and you won't see Red Sox hats and jackets, you'll see Yankee hats and jackets."  As much as I hate to say this, old Hank was right.  To a certain extent in Delhi, and to a much larger degree in Dakar, you see Yankees hats everywhere.

This wasn't completely unexpected, but I was curious as to why and how all of these people became Yankees fans (and why all of the people wearing Red Sox, Marlins, Cardinals, Mets, White Sox, A's, Braves, Rockies, and other hats came to have them).  Very few people here speak English or Spanish (French and Wolof are the official and most common languages), and to the best of my knowledge there has not been a single Senegalese Major Leaguer.

This man dd not understand why I wanted a photo with him. Then, he told me he loved me.

So when I had access to a translator for a class project (yes, I actually have to do work on this program), I decided to ask a few people.  Not a single one of the men I asked knew that the interlocked NY on their caps meant New York Yankees, all five of them thought it simply stood for New York, and, by extension, the United States.  The one man I asked with a Red Sox hat owned it because his surname started with a "B," so this phenomenon is hardly unique to the Yankees.

Some people wearing such hats wear them to look like American rap stars Jay-Z and 50 Cent, contemporaries of Senegalese cult-hero Akon, who was born in the US to Senegalese parents but spent his formative years in Dakar.  All in all, I would hazard a guess that 99% of the people in Dakar wearing MLB paraphernalia have no idea that it's a team logo, and they don't care.

However, that doesn't mean I don't get excited when I see a Boston hat (all the Yankees caps are enough to drive you insane).  Yesterday, we went to a wrestling match, and when one of the famous wrestler emerged from his car to cheers, a member of his entourage had a shiny, new, flat-brimmed Red Sox hat on (backwards, of course).  I immediately started jumping up and down in excitement (I was hardly alone - wrestling is a BIG DEAL here - people were literally fainting from excitement all over the stadium).

The sight of the Sox hat was enough to make my day, even though the match was anticlimactic (it actually ended in a tie) and I was rushed to the hospital late at night because I am apparently allergic to mangoes.  Hopefully, the Red Sox will soon start playing well enough for this kind of excitement to be justified... I think a series at Cleveland is JUST what the doctor ordered.

Everyone CALM DOWN.

So here we are, one series and three games into the 2011 season, and 3 games behind the first-place Orioles (yes, the Orioles), and people are starting to panic.

Why did we drop so much money and so many prospects for a splash in the offseason only to see the 2011 version of the Sox immediately fall into a tailspin in Texas? First of all, there are a lot of factors that go into these three losses.

(1) The Rangers are not to be taken lightly. These are not your father’s Texas Rangers: they’re under new ownership (hello, Nolan Ryan), and, lest you forget, they are the defending American League champions. Yes, they’ve lost Cliff Lee, but one player does not make or break a team.

(2) The Red Sox had a terrible spring. I understand that Spring Training is essentially meaningless, but the lackluster record and laissez faire attitude from that period seems to have carried over. Hopefully, they snap out of this funk sooner rather than later.

(3) It’s only April 4^th! I know, I know, these losses count just as much as losses in July or September, and if we lose out on the playoffs by less than three games, I will go back and eat my words, but while a three-game sweep to Texas, IN Texas, would be a cause for concern in mid-June and are the reason for outright panic at the start of the season. Say it with me, folks: SMALL. SAMPLE. SIZE.

Look, I understand the panic. I get it, the start of a new season is a rebirth in many ways, and no one wants their personal time of renewal to be sullied by bad experiences (and three losing scores of 12-5, 5-1, and 9-5 certainly fall into the realm of bad experiences).

But just like the triumphant graduating senior who can look back at his botched freshman year with nostalgia, I am confident that we will be able to look back on these three days and laugh, for they will not shape the entire season. Baseball is a marathon, there are 160 games still left to be played, and it’s unlikely (practically impossible, in fact), that the Red Sox will go 0-162 – though that would certainly be a memorable season, for all the wrong reasons.

It’s going to be okay, I promise… there’s a lot to look forward to: David Ortiz and Adrian Gonzalez are already RAKING; Matt Albers, Bobby Jenks, and Dennys Reyes have a collective ERA of 0.00; no one is injured yet; AND WE GO TO CLEVELAND NEXT. Things are going to look up – our starting pitching can hardly get worse, and the return to friendly Fenway on Friday should do us a world of good (even if we’re returning to play the Yanks).

It's not the 2010 Parade of Carnage, so everything will be okay.

So back away from the edge of the Tobin Bridge, Red Sox Nation… this should still be a season for the ages, and you would hate to miss out because you jumped ship in April after one lost series.

Red Sox fan in a foreign land: Part 1

For me, the day pitchers and catchers report for Spring Training is the first signifier that the snow will eventually melt, my extremities will begin to thaw, and there will be baseball once again. This year is a little different, as I'm currently studying abroad in Delhi, India. There's never been any snow here, and I've been overheated since we arrived, so it's not the coming of spring I'm most excited about this time around, but the long-awaited arrival of baseball season.

Thankfully, my host family has WiFi, so I've been able to keep up with the (scarce) Sox news for the last few weeks, but I'm not sure if that will be true in Dakar, Senegal, or Buenos Aires, Argentina, so I'll try to post as much as time allows while I have the luxury of internet.

Until actual practices get underway, there's not too much to talk about, so I thought I might share some of my stories as a traveling Red Sox fan, far from home. The program started in New York, and so I naturally had a few run-ins with Yankees fans before we left the country.

In Harlem we met a 14-year-old boy named Elijah, who claimed to the biggest Yankees fan ever. He proceeded to berate me about Manny and Papi's "steroid use," and exalted Andy ettitte and A*Rod for coming forward. "After they got caught," I scoffed, "That's hardly admirable." He clammed right up.

Perhaps the best anecdote occurred in the Newark airport. I (naturally) had worn a Red Sox shirt, and when I took off my jacket to go through security, the metal detector attendant announced that she didn't let Red Sox fans through. I decided to plead with her better nature, turning around to display "WAKEFIELD: 49" on the back, and asserting that no one can dislike a gamer like Wake. She laughingly agreed, and let me through - because, as she said, I was "a nice Red Sox fan."

When we finally arrived in Delhi, a friend turned to me and quipped "I feel much better about you wearing that Boston hat now that we're safely out of New York." It's pretty easy to be a baseball fan of any type here and stay virtually incognito, as the entire country is gearing up for the Cricket World Cup, and no one has a moment to spare for a silly American sport like baseball. I am determined to gain at least a cursory understanding of cricket before I leave, but I will (obviously) remain a loyal baseball fan for life.

Breaking News: I love Dustin Pedroia

This weekend, I learned that I am apparently not forthcoming enough about my personal opinion of Dustin Pedroia. Somehow, a friend of mine was under the impression that Jacoby Ellsbury was my favorite baseball player.

Now, this might be acceptable for someone who has never met me, or who knows next to nothing about the Red Sox... but the friend in question meets neither of these stipulations. Needless to say, I informed him that we are in a huge fight.

His excuse was that "Every girl I know is head over heels for Ellsbury." Excuse me, but in case you hadn't noticed, I'm not your average fangirl. I have three different posters of Sox players on my wall, and not one of them features Jacoby Ellsbury, no matter how "dreamy" some people find him.

Shockingly, THIS poster does, in fact, hang on my wall.

I've ranted about Ellsbury before, so I won't repeat myself (though I am rather proud to have coined the nickname "D-Ellsbury"), but I do want to get to the point of this post, which is, you guessed it, Dustin Pedroia.

It was three short years ago that the scrappy second baseman was named AL Rookie of the Year, and, a year later, the American League MVP. Since then, Pedroia has grown from an impressive rookie to a seasoned veteran, but he missed more than half of 2010 with injuries (which, by the way, totally ruined my summer).

So what can we expect from the feisty infielder next season? Just the usual: backtalk, dirty uniforms, laser shows, grit, spectacular glovework, tenacious hitting, and a work ethic that would make Paul Bunyan proud.

I know I should have spent today writing about THIS year's ROY winners, Neftali Feliz and Buster Posey, and I'll probably get to it later, but I was feeling particularly nostalgic for the days when Pedey was a young phenom.

And he's just so NICE.

So, for any of you who might be still confused (ahem, you know who you area), Dustin Pedroia is my favorite player. In my eyes, he can essentially do no wrong (even if the dipping is disgusting), and if I ever had the opportunity to meet him I'm quite sure I would hyperventilate. People are always talking about intangibles, and while I'm of the opinion that "veteran presence" and "calm eyes" are useless without a passable skill set ON the field, I'm equally confident that Pedey means a lot more to the Red Sox than simply his batting average, OBP, or even WAR.

And you know what else? He means the world to Red Sox Nation, too.

Best intangible ever? Adorable son.

Oh, the Inanity!

There's a reason I typically steer clear of the comments sections of Boston.com's Red Sox coverage after a loss, and it's only exacerbated at the end of a sweep like today's. The sentiments expressed by certain portions of Red Sox Nation are alarmist at best, and absolutely inane bordering on moronic at worst. Want some examples? After a short post by Peter Abraham quoting Pedroia as saying "When you don't show up, you're going to get beat. Doesn't matter if it's the Rays or (bleeping) Brookline High," and expressing respect for Bill Hall after the man dutifully addressed all questions about his performance in center field, the ridiculousness started:

"bill hall = next edgah wrent-a-reck"

Well thought out, this one, as Edgar Rentaria was signed to be an everyday shortstop, and Bill Hall was to be the fifth - fifth! - outfielder. Personally, I wondered why JD Drew wasn't in center with Hall in right, but that's just me.

"Am I going to get in trouble by suggesting, only suggesting right now that Jacoby Ellsbury may be a whus? Nothing broken, only sore and he can't play, can't run?"

First of all, I think the word you were looking for is "wuss." Secondly, yes, you're a jerk, and clearly didn't see the play on which Ells was injured.

"It's true: the Red Sox dominated the Yankees from 2004 on.... PeteAbe decides to switch over to covering the Sox. What happens? The Yankees go on to WIN THE WoRLD SERIES in 2009 and get off to an incredible start in 2009. Curse of MT? How's that working out for you, John Henry. It's the CURSE OF PETE ABE!!!!!"

Beyond the ludicrous amount of CAPS LOCK and exclamation points (!) in this comment, the writer didn't know what he was talking about. Abraham "switched sides" in late September, so he was technically working for New York for most of their WS season. Also, curses are ridiculous (I'm looking at you, Dan Shaughnessy).

"Here is the issue: Papi is off the juice, Lackey can't throw in Fenway, Youk cries to much for a baseball player and your best hitter in April is in the bullpen yuking it up with the other back up catchers."

Lackey and Papi accusations aside, I have to wonder how Youk's intensity translates into a bad team? Also, Jason Varitek is the best hitter is precisely BECAUSE he is "yuking it up" in the bullpen most of the time: smaller workload, better performance... But thanks for playing!

"The cracks are widening. They may be out of the race by April 30."

It's fans like these that make me WISH for a down year so they jump OFF the bandwagon. It's April. Calm down...

"Here comes the casual fan "I have all the solutions" comments. As if playing MLB2K10 gives you instant credibility to make big boy moves better than the pros..."

...And fans like this that give me hope for the world. Was this weekend painful? Yes. But no one could have predicted injuries to both Jacoby Ellsbury and Mike Cameron, resulting in a Spring Training-esque lineup. It. Is. April. Everything will be okay. Theo is doubtless working around the clock on something. And if not? Last time the Red Sox missed the playoffs, they won the World Series the following year. I'll take that tradeoff.