Lamentations of a Lady-Fan

As a female fan, I get my share of patronizing looks and remarks, and then stares of amazement when I prove I'm not in it to ogle the players' butts in baseball pants. For instance, this Friday afternoon I was at a club meeting, and a freshman who I'd met once or twice before walked in and asked, to the room at large, "Who are you all picking to win the World Series?"

Of course, I've put a lot of thought into this, and so I immediately answered "Philly."


"No," he shook his head at me. "They're losing to San Fransisco in the NLCS. Tim Lincecum is going to destroy Roy Halladay."

Normally, I enjoy baseball debates, but he had the air of someone who is teaching a stubborn first grader that 1+1 does, in fact, equal 2. I bristled at his tone, and asked him a simple question:

"Really? How many perfect games does Tim Lincecum have under his belt?"

He stared blankly at me, before answering, "Well, none. But how many Cy Youngs does Roy Halladay have? Zero."

I gaped at him in disbelief. "Seriously? Roy Halladay was the Cy Young winner in 2003! In the AL East, no less!"

He then scoffed at the ferocity of competition in that division, calling it overrated, at which point got some backup from another boy in the room:

"Seriously? The three best teams in baseball are in that division!"

"And," I added, "The Red Sox won eighty-nine games with a final lineup that included several players who had started the year in Double-A!"

"So?" The original questioner asked, "The White Sox won more than that and they had injuries!"

At this point, the other members of the (predominantly male) club were staring at us. My friend Steph, the only other girl in the room, and decidedly NOT a baseball fan, was giggling. [This would be a better story if Halladay had shut down the Giants last night, but the Phils lost. Either way, it was not the pitcher's duel most baseball fans were expecting.]

I decided not to correct him. He clearly did not know what he was talking about, and he doubted my credibility as a source in any case (for the record, the White Sox won 88 games in 2010). I'm not sure why he thought I wasn't a reliable source of baseball knowledge, but in the past I've been told that I can't possibly know sports because I am a straight female.

This is exactly WHY I am sometimes judgmental of other fans - shouldn't they be held to the same ridiculous standards of knowledge as I am?

This is ridiculous. I spend 90% of my free time researching, watching, or discussing baseball. I run this blog and another, and I have a veritable library of baseball books. My computer toolbar has six baseball links, one for Twitter (where I discuss baseball), and one for my college's athletics website.


So, clearly my being in possession of a uterus excludes me from intelligent baseball discourse. I'm sorry for wasting all of your time with my yattering about a sport I am biologically unable to understand.

Some things never change.

I KNEW the Yankees would win tonight. I looked at the matchups, and I mentally conceded this game to the pinstriped devils.

You're a gamer, CJ... too bad your bullpen isn't.

When CJ Wilson pitched six scoreless, and the Texas bats gave him a five-run cushion, I was still nervous. A five-run lead is not enough when you're going up against the best team money can buy, even when you're at home.

So why is this loss so upsetting? I knew it was coming. With the inevitability of fall sliding into winter, I saw this loss for the Rangers, but I never stopped hoping, not until the final out was made.

This will be tough for the Rangers to bounce back from. Is it possible? Yes, anything can happen in baseball, but a win tonight would have given the Rangers unimaginable momentum heading into the next few days.

But why was this loss so viscerally upsetting? Precisely BECAUSE it was unsurprising. The Yankees are supposed to win. If they don't win the World Series, every year, with a payroll like that, it is a failure. Losing in the World Series? Failure. Getting eliminated in another round of the playoffs? Blasphemy. Missing the playoffs altogether? Unheard of.

It's grating. The Yankees unlimited ability to spend and spend and buy wins that no other team can afford based simply on the size of their captive audience is detrimental to the integrity of the game. It's like if US Steel had been part of MLB. The person with the most money always wins, and I don't know about you, but I'm sick and tired of this storyline.

Now, Imagine each of those singles is ONE BILLION DOLLARS. MUAHAHAHAHA!

I think baseball needs a salary cap. I know this is a long shot, and that the player's union would fight a proposal like that to the death, but the sport is suffering because the playing field is anything but level right now. Alex Rodriguez alone made more money this year than the entire roster of the Pittsburgh Pirates.

The Yankees represent everything that is wrong with baseball - and even their fans deserve better. The championships they've bought aren't nearly as special as those won by other teams, because the frequency of victory has made pennants commonplace, and even boring.

Tonight's Yankee victory was upsetting on a visceral level, because it represented more of the same: the upstart Rangers, who have only won a single playoff series in team history, getting beaten by the powerhouse Yankees, the Enron of Major League Baseball.

Don't Mess with Texas... Please?

I don't know about you, but I've been lost since the end of Game 5 at the Trop, and I'm totally psyched for the ALCS to get underway this evening.

A lot has happened in the last week (basically, everything but me posting. Sorry...). Somehow, every prediction I made for the Division Series' came true. Don't worry, I'm as shocked as you are

Initially, I had picked Texas over New York, but I think the five-game series with Tampa Bay might have hurt their chances. Cliff Lee versus CC Sabathia would have been an epic matchup (and a nice reprise of last year's World Series), but it would have had the added drama of all of Cleveland collectively banging their heads against a wall.

Poor Cleveland... And I do mean POOR.

The Rangers do, of course, have home field advantage in this series, which means a hell of a lot more when the away games are in Yankee Stadium than it does when they're in Tropicana Field. Yankees fans might be annoying, but they at least show up and pay attention.

If CJ Wilson can keep the lids on the Yankee lineup this evening, and the Rangers serve all-you-can eat Mexican food as the pre-game spread so Sabathia is too full to pitch, I could see Texas taking game one. Really, the Rangers best chance for this series is to concede the games in which Sabathia pitches and shell young Phil Hughes, OLD Andy Pettitte, and the enigma himself, AJ Burnett.

Is it probable? No, not with Cliff Lee resting until game 3. But anything can happen: CJ Wilson could start channeling Cy Young, CC Sabathia might eat a clubhouse attendent and miss game 1 because he's in the slammer, A*Rod might choke (weird, huh?).

Remember that time CC almost ate Pedey? Me, neither.

Don't mess with Texas, New York. Texas messes back.

"No-hitters are boring."

Jon Lester looks like he is SO BORED after tossing his no-hitter.

As I've said many times before, most of my friends do not care about baseball. This is fine with me. It is also completely acceptable that many of them do not understand the most basic underpinnings of the game, and that they have no interest in my explanations. To each his own, and all that jazz.

However, I totally flipped out on a friend of mine at lunch today, because he had the gall to make fun of baseball with logic that was not only flawed, but based on ideas which are just WRONG.

Thinking he was being witty (in actuality sounding foolish to anyone who knows ANYTHING about the game), he made some comment about how baseball is boring and/or stupid because a no-hitter is considered amazing, and it's a game in which nothing happens. Silly me assumed he knew what a no-hitter was, and asked whether he thought spectacular defensive plays to preserve a no-hit bid were "boring."

Gosh, DeWayne Wise, this is SO BORING. I bet even perfect-game author Mark Buehrle is bored looking at this.

This led to the realization that he had absolutely NO IDEA of what a no-hitter really is. He was under the impression that "no-hitter" meant that no batter made any sort of contact with the ball, and that the whole game was essentially the pitcher and the catcher tossing the ball back and forth, and that it meant that the pitcher would have accumulated twenty-seven strikeouts during the game.

I explained to him that this was, in fact, fallacy in the highest degree, explained the true definition, and added that the record for most strikeouts in a single game is twenty, held by Roger Clemens (twice), Kerry Wood, and Randy Johnson. He continued to argue with me, claiming that some pitcher had struck out twenty-seven "At least once in the last forty years."

At this point, I gave up. Clearly, not only did he have no interest in what was actually true, he couldn't possibly understand the degree of difficulty that would be involved in actually striking out twenty-seven Major League batters, and why any true baseball fan would LOVE to see a game like that, in which, by his definition, "nothing ever happens."

Jason Varitek must have had the most BORING career ever... I'm sure he was practically falling asleep during those four no-nos he caught.

Halladay makes history

Last fall, in the immediate aftermath of the World Series, my Phillies fan friends were less than ecstatic. Trust me, I told them, I KNOW how badly it sucks to lose to New York. And then came the news of that blockbuster December trade... You know, the one that sent Cliff Lee to Seattle, Roy Halladay to Philadelphia, and prospects to Toronto so they could start "rebuilding."

MKy roommate, a casual Phillies fan from South Jersey (VERY different from North Jersey, as I was constantly told), was very upset. She didn't know anything about Halladay, and Lee had been the only bright spot in that lost World Series. "Trust me," I told her, "You will absolutely LOVE Roy Halladay."

[Not to mention how much I was going to love watching his brilliance when it didn't often come against MY team, for a change.]

She was skeptical, but let it go - I'm guessing by now she's forgotten that the conversation even took place. At the time, I at first couldn't believe that she didn't know about the excellence that was Doc Halladay, and then I checked myself: Halladay had never played in the playoffs, and had spent his whole spectacular career buried in the American League East. There was no reason that a casual fan of a National League team WOULD know about him.

Well, they've all heard of him now. After the perfect game in May, Halladay went on to have a shut-down season for the Phils, and last night he tossed a one-walk, no-hit gem in Philadelphia to put the Phillies up 1-0 on the Reds in the NLDS. Oh, did I mention that it was only the second no-hitter in Major League history, after Don Larsen's perfect game in 1956?

And in his first postseason start ever. Yeah, I feel pretty good about that offhanded comment last December: Philadelphia is LOVING Roy Halladay.

Philly's taking it.

Way back in April, I picked Colorado, St. Louis, Philadelphia, Atlanta, Anaheim, Minnesota, New York, and Boston to make the playoffs, which puts my grade at 50%, failure by any professor’s standards. However, in baseball speak, I batted .500, which is impossibly good – it’s all about perspective. (For perspective, Sports Illustrated and Baseball Prospectus were also 4-for-8.)

Hopefully I’ll be more on the ball in my playoff predictions, but let me first start off with the disclaimer that the playoffs are, in the immortal words of Moneyball author Michael Lewis, “a giant crapshoot.” The Major League Baseball season is 162 games long; it’s a marathon that specializes in wearing teams down and weeding out the weak and injured, letting the elite emerge with the best records. However, anything can happen in a small sample-size like the 5-game League Division Series’, or the 7-game League-Championship and World Series.

That said, I’m going to take a stab at predicting the outcome – after all, there’s a 12.5% chance I’ll guess right!

The playoff schedules weren’t set until Sunday afternoon when the last three teams clinched, and the Division Series’ will start Wednesday, with the AL East champion Rays hosting the AL West champions Rangers, the AL Central champion Twins hosting the AL Wild Card entry Yankees, and the NL East champion Phillies hosting the NL Central Reds. Thursday evening will see the NL West Champion Giants hosting the Wild Card entry Braves.

In the first round I’m taking the Giants and Rangers in 5 games, and Yankees and Phillies in 4. Really, it’s all about pitching, and all four of these teams have a legitimate ACE: Tim Lincecum, Cliff Lee, CC Sabathia, and Roy Halladay, respectively. All of these pitchers are capable of absolutely dominating, and the lineups behind them are hardly something to scoff at.

The Championship Series’ should see both New York and Philadelphia defending their 2009 Pennants, with mixed success. Philly and San Francisco match up pretty evenly on paper, but the Phillies should take it in six games. The Giants have Lincecum and Matt Cain, but the Phillies will counter with Halladay, Roy Oswalt, and Cole Hamels. Sure, you could argue that Halladay has never even been in a postseason game before, but its not like he’s a stranger to high-pressure situations, having pitched in the competitive AL East for most of his career.

As for the American League Pennant, I’m picking Texas in seven games. Again, this mostly comes down to pitching. CC Sabathia is close to a sure thing, but he was beaten last postseason by Cliff Lee (then with the Phillies), and after Sabathia the Yankees rotation is anything but steady. Andy Pettitte is coming off of a torn groin (and he’s 38-years-old), AJ Burnett is an enigma at best, and Phil Hughes has more than doubled his innings from last year. On the other hand, Texas has four reliable starters in Lee, CJ Wilson, Colby Lewis, and Tommy Hunter. Both lineups are formidable, but the return of Josh Hamilton should tip the scales in the Rangers’ favor.

Because the National League won the All-star game for the first time since 1996 (2002 ended in a tie), the World Series will be hosted by the National League Pennant winner, which in this projection is Philadelphia. The Phillies have distinct advantages in a number of areas: their team ERA is nearly half a run better than the Rangers’ team ERA; they have a wealth of postseason experience, as this could be their third straight NL Pennant; and they have home-field advantage. That said, this should be a close series, going to six or even seven games. The two teams have comparable lineups, and they each boast one of the top-five starting pitchers in the game. The Rangers have the better bullpen, which could allow them to steal a game or two if they can wear down the starters early. However, all things considered, the Phillies should be able to top the Rangers and win their second World Series in the last three years. After all, Philadelphia finished the regular season with baseball’s best record, it would only be fitting if they finished the postseason with baseball’s highest prize.

But I don't WANT to act professionally...!

So whenever you ask a sportswriter (NOT a blogger, who has no deadlines) who has their loyalty, they say that they root for quick games and good storylines. Of course, being the crazy-obsessed fan that I am proud to be, I couldn't wrap my head around dropping your fandom for a job.

However, I'm supposed to be writing an MLB playoff preview for my college newspaper, and I just want everything to be decided so I can meet my deadline. I know this is easier because the Red Sox are out of it, but I really just want the AL Wild Card/AL East race to get decided by tonight, even if it means the Sox will lose the game(s). I want the Giants to beat the Padres tonight to decided the NL West, and the Braves to beat the Phillies and clinch the Wild Card already.

Despite the fact that this image makes me want to vomit instinctively, I'll take it if it means I can do my job.

Because of the nature of the playoffs, I'm pretty stuck on even starting this article before I know who's in it and what their records are, and I'm really not a patient person.

Of course, ideally in my world, the Red Sox take both games of the double-header (unlikely, with Wake taking on Pettitte, though I could easily back Matsuzaka over the enigma that is Burnett), while the Rays win - and since they're at Kansas City, it seems plausible.

But even if the Yankees take the division by sweeping the Sox, it's not the end of the world. The Red Sox are going out not with a bang, but with a whimper: Adrian Beltre has gone to be with his wife as she delivers their child, Clay Buchholz is shut down due to a stiff back, and Marco Scutaro is out nursing his respective aches.

So while the Red Sox fan in me is appalled at this attitude, my inner writer just wants everything to get settled - even if it's at the (further) expense of my dearly beloved team. Is this growing up, or am I just losing my soul?