Quote of the Day

Today's quote comes from the Celtics' Nate Robinson, and he's referring to the dominant performance turned in by Big Baby Davis and himself:

"We're like Donkey and Shrek."

I love you, Nate Robinson. LOVE.

Masterful Performance

If we had to take a beatdown, I'm at least glad it came at the hands of this man:


Seriously, the one time this season Masterson dominates, we're on the receiving end. If I didn't know Masterson was too nice to have an once of revenge in him, I'd say this was payback for trading him last summer.

Now, I wouldn't go back and undo what was done, but last night's performance FINALLY vindicated me for promising a Cleveland fan (they do exist!) that he'd love Masterson. Last year's trade was special in a couple of ways: it made both clubs happy (at least for a time), and it made both players tear up.

Both VMart and Masterson had an unusually high level of attachment to their respective teams, and were extremely taken aback by the trade. And last night, in a particularly ironic twist, VMart mustered one of just two hits allowed by Masterson in a complete game shutout.


I would say I'm happy to concede a game to the struggling Indians, but that would be a lie - especially since both Tampa Bay and New York won last night. I'm counting on Jon Lester to put away Mitch Talbot tonight, and get our boys back on track before interleague restarts.

Slow it down, Cooperstown.

Stephen Strasburg made his Major League debut last night. If you don't know who he is yet, you've been living under a rock, but here's some background: the young righthander was the number one pick in the draft exactly one year ago, chosen by the Nationals, and he was being talked about as a future Hall-of-Famer before he threw a pitch in the majors.

Yes, Strasburg had an impressive debut. He pitched seven innings, striking out fourteen batters, and throwing 94 pitches, 65 for strikes. According to MLBNetwork, a DC area restaurant just unveiled a new dish, the "Strasburger," named, or course, for the young phenom. But before we put in the order for the the 21-year-old's Cooperstown plaque, let's remember that this was against the moribund Pirates, that he's barely of legal drinking age, and will be dealing with HUGE expectations. Hell, he's so new that baseball-reference doesn't even have him in their major league section yet.

Yes, Strasburg was very poised; he did everything right, but for me the most impressive number was 40,315. The Nationals sold out their stadium last night, and so the accolades for Strasburg as a franchise rescuer were clearly warranted. Here's hoping Strasburg lives up to everything the Nationals hoped for - and that he plays his entire career in the National League.

Knuckling into history

Tim Wakefield, the current longest tenured member of the Boston Red Sox, just overtook Roger Clemens for the club record of most innings pitched, with 2,777.

I have the utmost respect for Wakefield. The man is 43 years old - practically elderly in baseball years, and he's still answering every call from the Sox. Sure, he might resent being sent to the bullpen, but he's earned the right to air those concerns, so long as he keeps on knuckling. Best wishes to Wakefield... hopefully he'll topple some more records before hanging up his spikes.

Woe is the Baltimore Orioles

This weekend must have been hell for the Baltimore Orioles. Sure, they managed to salvage one game out of three from the Sox, but that's the only thing that could possibly go in the "positives" column on their weekend tally.

Poor Jeremy Guthrie tossed a great game Saturday... and then the bullpen gave it up.

They got absolutely destroyed on Friday, getting shut out by a dominating Clay Buchholz, and were shut down pretty well by a slightly less masterful Jon Lester the following night. They DID manage to scrape out a win last night, but it took 11 innings! To top it all off, their manager just got fired, as if it's his fault they're 21 games back in a division where the top three teams have won the AL Pennant in the last three years, and four of five teams are over .500.

In fact, the NL West is the only other division in baseball to have four of five teams playing better than .500, and their fourth place team is 29-27, a far cry from the 33-25 (Boston and Toronto) second to worst record in the AL East.

It's no wonder Baltimore can't compete. And not only that, but the only times they play in front of a sold-out crowd at beautiful Camden Yards, the visiting team has more fans than they do. That must be a pretty horrible feeling, wearing your home whites with little to no fan support.

The Orioles were once a proud franchise, winning the World Series in 1966, 1970, and 1983, and the AL Pennant in 1944, 1969, 1971, and 1979. Unfortunately, the O's have made the playofs just twice in the Wild Card Era, in 1996 (WC), and 1997 (AL East Champs), and so their loyal fans have suffered with them.

Yes, Orioles fans exist! I worked on a project with one such fan last semester, and at the end of a group email after the O's swept the Sox I added a postscript: "PS The Orioles are ruining my life!" He took it in stride and emailed back the information I needed for the assignment, adding a note of his own: "GO O'S!"

I'm pretty sure I never saw him without an O's hat.

At the time, I was a little annoyed, but looking back, I should have offered him my condolences - for me, the Orioles were a passing annoyance, and they're back to being a doormat - for him? The O's have been a frustration and disappointment since he was eight years old, and the immediate future isn't looking too bright, either.

I feel bad for the players, sure... But they have the chance to leave town via free agency or a trade. As for the fans? Their only other regional choice is the Nationals, and I don't know about you, but I'd stick with the once great Orioles and bide my time rather than jump ship to a oft-moving, ever failing club like the Nats.

So godspeed Orioles fans, I wish you all the best - just not when you're playing Boston.

Clay Buchholz is a BOSS

THIS is what I looked forward to this season: dominating pitching performances. Yes, I know that the Baltimore Orioles are essentially the doormat of the American League, but throwing a five-hit shutout is impressive regardless of who it's against.

Buchholz controlled the situation all night, walking just one batter in nine innings, and allowing just six baserunners. For me, the most impressive number of the night was 101, the number of pitches required to make 27 outs (and face 31 batters). Clay recorded just two strikeouts on the evening, proof that he is absolutely unafraid to pitch to contact.

In the past, everyone knew Buchholz had the stuff to be a number one or two in a rotation, it was the maturity and confidence we were all waiting on, and I'd say that's arrived. Clay has the lowest starter's ERA on the team (2.39), with only Manny Delcarmen and Daniel Bard below him.

Interestingly enough, it is the home grown pitchers who are doing the best thus far, despite the much heralded arrival of John Lackey, and the excitement over Josh Beckett's extension. Jon Lester (2.97), Daniel Bard (1.91), Manny Delcarmen (2.36), and Buchholz are the only Sox pitchers with ERAs under 3.00. In fact, the only homegrown pitcher on the staff with an ERA over 3.00 is the closer, Jonathan Papelbon (3.13).

Why do I bring up these stats? The draft is rapidly approaching, and the Red Sox have recently done very well in that area. Besides the aforementioned pitchers, the Red Sox drafted and developed current Sox players Kevin Youkilis, Dustin Pedroia, and Jacoby Ellsbury, as well as Marlins star Hanley Ramirez (who was traded for Mike Lowell and Josh Beckett). Personally, I can't wait to see what the team comes out with this year... Another boss like Buchholz, perhaps?

Sox Superlatives: 2010

It's that time of year again: most colleges have already had their commencements, and high schools around the country are in the thick of graduation season. You know what goes with graduation? YEARBOOKS, and my personal favorite part of any yearbook is the superlatives. Though the Red Sox are just about a third of the way through the season, Off the Monster will take a stab.

Most confident:
I know the popular choice would be Pedey, but hear me out. Clay Buchholz was always that prospect who "had to work on his confidence." The stauff was always there; we were waiting for the mentality to catch up. Well, I'd say he's caught up now, and the results are BEAUTIFUL.



Best RAKING:
David Ortiz was the AL Player of the month for May, and he is absolutely destroying the ball rght now. It's almost like having vintage Papi back, and I have to say I like it.




Most likely to kill a deer:
Duh.






Most ridiculous accent:
Jon Lester is from Washington. Yet somehow, he speaks with a southern twang. I'm going to go ahead and pin this one on Josh Beckett.




Sweatiest:
Again, DUH.







Most likely to be on his knees:
No, not like that! Adrian Beltre makes defensive plays from his knees, but he's also hit two homers this way. It's so ridiculous. Also, AWESOME.





Most likely to be found in the nurses office:
This is a no-brainer. Ells has spent most of the season on the DL, and there are no signs indicating that this will change any time soon. Valid or not, speculation that his pain threshold is too low, or that he's somehow "soft," have been buzzing around for a while now.





Teacher's pet:
It's no secret that Theo LOVES JD Drew, even defending him against the haters. But honestly, I love him too. His numbers speak for themselves, and he's the most badass ginger ever. Drew Crew forever!




Father of the year:
Dustin Pedroia just has to win this one. Have you ever seen a cuter child? I'll answer for you: you haven't, because Dylan Pedroia is the most adorable baby ever. Also, Pedroia has been quoted as saying "He's growing so fast. He's bigger than me." Love it. He clearly LOVES his Uncle Tito... I wonder if Dylan can beat the skipper at cribbage?



Best dressed:
I have to give this one to Paps, even though they all look pretty snappy. You can tell by the look on his face that he's really COMMITTING to the outfit. And you just know that he'd wear that getup on the mound if Theo would allow it.



Most likely to succeed:
Last year, I picked Daniel Bard, which turned out to be a good call. This year?It's a more difficult choice, as there aren't any prospects as close as Bardo was. Nevertheless, I'm going to go out on a limb and nominate the recently promoted OF Ryan Kalish. We might not see him this year, but I'm keeping an eye out for him in 2011.


Class flirt:
Come on. You know I had to do it. Jason Varitek, Nick Green... Who's on her radar this season?






Any I missed? Sound off in the comments!